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Longina Manswell
silentasascream
16 May 2008 @ 02:49 am
The flaming sighs that boil within my breast...  
I am disappointment made flesh. I am the manifestation of deflation. I am the aftermath of a let down. Let me tell you, frankly, it is not pleasant.

A shocking upheaval has taken place in the game of dating. The tables have turned. Traditional gender roles are not as the comics and clerics would have us believe. I find now that women are the predators and men their prey. Women are lusty and just want to get laid and men are all skittish and coy, sentimental and slow. All the boys are a bunch of cockteasers and I want to know – When did this happen? And how?

I’ll tell you this, it’s Fucking Frustrating, with capital effs. I now quite intimately understand the meaning of blue balls and mine are substantially cerulean. Though I have time in abundance, all the time in the world, I have no patience for these games, for this playing hard to get. Ambiguities abound on all sides and there are too many shades of grey. I’d like to meet someone who’s on the level, the only problem being nobody is. They all have issues or lingering exes or The Fear. What a shame. I’m a perfectly good young specimen going to waste here, by god. It’s ludicrous. And I just want to say that commitment is not a necessary consequence of physical intimacy. Can we not just enjoy each other, please? Allow me to play Casanova and love you for just tonight.

It’s not going to happen, of course. Because they’ve all gone round the u-bend. Bugger it all. It used to be that women and their unknowable appetites were a colossal joke upon mankind. Yet now it is the men who are variable – and only a madwoman would treat with them. It’s not even just the sex thing, either. I am shocked anyone at all is in a relationship, to be perfectly honest. It’s impossible to seal the deal these days. The territory is beyond treacherous and slippery to an extreme. There’s just no feasible way to negotiate it. At all. I don’t know what’s become of things, but it’s a sorry state, it is, and I feel of quitting before I’ve even truly begun. Good grief. I hate dating. I loathe dating. I detest it with every quark and lepton of my being. It is a madness threatening the precarious stability of my mind.

I need a tougher skin.
 
 
Condition: predatory
Soundtrack: "Dilaudid" - The Mountain Goats
 
19 well-spent dollars | Share the wealth
 
( 19 well-spent dollars — Post a new comment )
Tal[info]emblemparade on May 16th, 2008 07:56 am (UTC)
See, you're being a traditional girlie girl after all. Your feelings are hurt for being rejected. Awww.

If you want to be a real pro, don't empathize with the prey's "fears" and "shames." Seriously. Instead, if it fails to put out, call it the uptight bitch that it is.
Longina Manswell: hat[info]silentasascream on May 19th, 2008 06:41 am (UTC)
It's true.

I need to learn me how to be a playa. Who better to teach me than you?

Oh, [info]emblemparade, you twisted fucker, you're my hero.
Will[info]wsreaves on May 16th, 2008 08:33 am (UTC)
Welcome to the world as it stands now, on it's head and twisted 'round.

In my own experiences, I have been the victim of the voracious female appetite several times. They are so sweet and loving until they have slipped into my trousers, and afterwards I am left wanting for company and alone. You'd forgive me the cliche phrasing, but once biten, twice shy.

I'm a fair bit coy and guarded now, as I really do detest when someone is not forthcoming with their intentions. Were the women in question honest about their carnal, lustful desires I would have been a willing participant. However, they like to lead one on with talk and promises of interest and companionship, only to be scarce and unseen once they have glutted their wanton hunger.

All to say, there are reasons that men may be cautious; boys, as always, are not worth the effort it takes to drag them out of their shells and beat them into some sort of rough shape. Take care to make sure that the subject at hand is of the former type, and not the latter.

Additionally, you have my sympathies as to the azure coloration of your nethers. 'Tis never a pleasant prospect and despite the relief one can provide oneself there is still the linger psychological craving that refuses to subside.

I, too, abhor dating and share with you a distaste for the whole matter. Were there other options. Alas, I see none. Sadly, it is the only game in town and priced for the admittance of all. Dating is akin to the carnival -- you buy your ticket and take your chances.
Longina Manswell: hat[info]silentasascream on May 19th, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
Let me start by saying this is so brilliant it should be an entry in its own right.

Your data has been invaluable to me in proving my observations are indeed correct. Women have taken on the role of predator just as lustily as any man has done before them. And now it is men who exhibit third degree burns from feminine fire, just as your own sweet self, dear [info]wsreaves. It's exactly that: once bitten, twice shy. It ain't a cliche for nothing. So at least now i realize why all the boys have grown coy. Interesting. And perfectly sensible.

I'm sorry you've been so ill-used, especially since you seem such a rare gem.

It all comes down to intentions, just so. Few people are forthcoming with theirs - which is why i long to meet someone who's above board for once. In fact, when lamenting the bewildering behavior of our would-be suitors, my friend and i have taken to quoting The Smiths: "Where do his intentions lay or does he even have any?" Seriously. I could use some honesty. After all, i'm a pretty blunt person, given i revile head games.

I'm doing my best to avoid boys that aren't worth the trouble, but it sometimes proves difficult, since their plumage can dazzle the mind - in which case it takes so much longer to apprehend there's nothing of note underneath. As for lending oneself a hand, i lack the proper tools, which i really should remedy rather soon. Still, one cannot kiss oneself, and i quite enjoy that pastime. Woe.

Your closing statement is a triumph. Quotable and now quoted.
Will[info]wsreaves on May 19th, 2008 08:37 am (UTC)
Were it possible to kiss myself I'd be done with dating. If only it weren't for the sweet lips of the fairer sex. Damnable women and your soft, supple parts. However, I digress.

Intentions, well-meant or otherwise, are often held close to the breast like guarded secrets, only to be hinted at or revealed in fleeting accidental glimpses. It is a shame more people cannot be honest with themselves and those around them, for the truth is a sexy and powerful thing in its own right.

I, too, share a powerful dislike of mind games and the attempts by others to use them in a (possible) relationship as a dominating action.

The questioning of someone's intentions is a good issue to bring up and address. I've found that Henry Rollins encapsulated my ideas on the whole matter fairly well: "It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that's dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It's so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can't say the things you want to."

I appreciate your comments and hate that you are having to evaluate and audit these situations for yourself. It's an annoying lesson that unfortunately has no study guide. It's all hands-on experience with a steep cost. However, the most important part of the lesson is that you can't ever stop trying. Giving up in the face of coy lovers and hidden agendas only puts you two-steps behind. When the going is tough and the emotional terrain rocky just pull your thoughts close and forge ahead.
Longina Manswell: hat[info]silentasascream on May 19th, 2008 09:13 am (UTC)
Damnable men and your firm, sinewy parts.

It's a good point that some people cannot be honest with themselves. Surely there are those who commit lies of omission simply because they do not know their own intentions or what they really want. And so others are brought along for the ride, a ride in the dark. I get the gist of Henry Rollins' message and it's a logical conclusion to reach. Knowledge is indeed power and sharing the heart's secrets makes one vulnerable. But the truth is a sexy and powerful thing in its own right, by god. And there should be nothing we cannot say to someone we feel strongly about. However, i am oftentimes incapable of censoring myself, because i learned a long time ago it is unhealthy to bottle anything up inside. (Besides, i have a tendency to dwell and the only way to counter this is to get things off my chest.) So my uncommon courage in spilling my guts may prove my opinion on the matter somewhat biased.

Would that there were a study guide! I know Ovid wrote a manual on Seduction (and maybe i should read it so as to medicate this azure nethers ailment), but if there is one that can help me navigate the uncharted waters of the heart, i do not know of it. Maybe we should pool our thoughts and write one together!

Onward and ahead, indeed. My horse is right sick of me falling but i always get back up again.

I love that we are awake right now.
Will[info]wsreaves on May 19th, 2008 09:33 am (UTC)
Personally, I suffer from a condition know as brutalis truthfulness. It is an unfortunate ailment in which my mouth is a weapon that wounds quite easily, as there is no filter of any sort attached to it. For better or for worse, it is my burden to bear, a gift and a curse.

Knowing another person's secrets and knowing that they have chosen to share them with is is a terribly intimate thing. So many people will decide to throw their bodies into any bed that's near, but when they finally decide to open their real self to you... well, that's a special moment indeed.

Introversion and an aptness for being honest are an odd combination, and one that I share with you. I tend to dwell in my own thoughts far more than is likely healthy and my only respite is to voice them to others. There's no real fault to be had with that, but it does lead to some awkward situations when you're matched with someone who does not share their thoughts easily.

Taking Ovid's work as a touch stone, co-writing a manual on carousing and capturing a mate seems like an excellent idea. As it stands, I can think of no body of text that contains any large amount of helpful information nor of charted courses to locales where you'd find respite from the sad state of your nethers.

Falling down is an important step in moving forward. Those scratches and bruises are important.

I am glad someone else is awake at this hour to keep my insomniac self company.
Longina Manswell[info]silentasascream on May 19th, 2008 09:54 am (UTC)
Ditto, my friend. Ditto. I would say it all again but you've said it first and better than i ever could.

I've got the exact same condition, only mine comes with a filter. This essentially means that while i am capable of saving the feelings of others, i am usually the one who is wounded by the double-edged sword of my big sharing mouth.

You're so right about how willing certain persons can be to give freely of their bodily temple, sometimes even with complete strangers, as if it's the least intimate thing in the world and yet keep their heart far, far away from their sleeve. And so the standard for true intimacy has been set and it lies in the revealing of one's real self in all its unguarded vulnerability. Strange, that. We're a backwards people, we are. One would think the sharing would fall before the bedding, but what do i know of it? It is easier to kiss than it is to talk.

Incidentally, i've totally been in those awkward situations you mention. Naturally. Few instances are worse than when people like us are paired with someone who offers nothing and reciprocates never.

Cheers to insomnia. Every now and again it leads to brilliance and breakthroughs.
Click[info]felldown on May 22nd, 2008 03:58 am (UTC)
Christ- you two know each other?

Is it through me, or is this just an absolute bizarre coincidence?
Longina Manswell: hat[info]silentasascream on May 22nd, 2008 07:32 am (UTC)
Relax, stallion, for you led me to [info]wsreaves, though you did so unawares. There were just too many uncanny reasons why we should know each other. So thanks for that, Doctor. ;)

Cor, it would be a pretty bizarre coincidence though, wouldn't it?

And friend me back already fer chrissake!
munchflower[info]munchflower on May 16th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
I was going to comment until I realized 1 - that I don't know anything about relationships except how to ruin them, and 2 - who I'm dating. I'm still relearning how to do the dating thing after a 10 year relationship, divorce and now with two kids. It's SO different. The mountain goats rule tho...
Longina Manswell: hat[info]silentasascream on May 19th, 2008 06:52 am (UTC)
I think most of us only know how to ruin them. It's easier done than make them work, in any case. Hell, a decade is an eternity off the playing field, a divorce makes it three hundred and seventy times worse, and i can't even imagine how hard it is with the offspring factor. Good grief. You have my utmost sympathies, fair [info]munchflower. However, as to who you're dating, allow me to just say...well done. *smirk* Couldn't have been all that bad, considering from out the antiquarian darkness you've fished God's Own Prototype.

The Mountain Goats do indeed rule - i noticed you quoted some of their lyrics. Good choice. I think we may have similar tastes. *nudge/wink*
munchflower[info]munchflower on May 19th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)
That made me snort my morning mocha. He's definately one of a kind but I don't need to tell you that. If you're so inclined to use the messengers at all I'm really easy to find on AIM MSN or yahell as munchflower. There's only one person who's dumb enough to use that name and it's me.
Longina Manswell[info]silentasascream on May 19th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
I'll see you there, then!
Click[info]felldown on May 22nd, 2008 03:57 am (UTC)
You're both deluded, but hey, I'll take it!
Longina Manswell: hat[info]silentasascream on May 22nd, 2008 07:24 am (UTC)
Of course we're deluded. Otherwise we'd know better. ;)
Click[info]felldown on May 23rd, 2008 01:28 am (UTC)
At least you admit I'm right, instead of repeatedly insisting I possess some imaginary wholesome value, a la Claire. Heh.

And you're friended back, gahdamnit!
emma[info]ems on May 23rd, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
I am adding you back, because I love your writing, too. :)
Longina Manswell[info]silentasascream on May 23rd, 2008 09:10 pm (UTC)
Yay!
 
 

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